Divine Intervention

Points to be noted before one reads this blog:

1) This is my first blog.

2) This is not my last blog

3) The events that unfold during the course of this blog are true

4) There are no discrepancies. So don’t look for any.

5) The author is definitely male.

It was a stormy Thursday night and it was raining Lions and St. Bernards in Bangalore. I was on my computer, half way through Transmetropolitan when I heard a puppy squeal. I kept to my work assuming that the puppy was crying for its mother’s warmth- it was sterilizingly* cold after all. Ten minutes hence my ass felt numb and I walked out to the balcony to get some blood flowing through my Gluteus Max. I peeped over the compound to get a glimpse of this scaled down Tsang-po in the rain water drain. Much to my horror I saw a puppy clinging on for dear life in this deluge of mud and rain water. If the puppy had lost its grip on the wall it would have been washed away into the local quagmire of garbage and human excreta. Sighting this rather grotesque eventuality I grabbed my wind cheater and ran out to save this hapless creature. I wasn’t too hard taking the first one out. I handed it over to my brother who wiped it dry and gave it some milk to drink. Just as I was taking my wet ass back home I heard another puppy scream. This one was stuck under the drain cover. I knelt on the ground and peeped under the cover. There were six more in there and most of them were out of reach. I extended my hand under the cover and took another out. The third was a little further into the drain. I stepped into the drain, put my head under the cover and took the third one out when the rain seemed to be falling everywhere but on my head. I looked up to see this uber-chick, I had never seen in my locality, holding an umbrella over my head. (Muhuhaha)

Looking very concerned, she asked me how many more were left. I said four more and she then offered to help me with the rest.( Muhuhaha) I was so busy trying to act concerned (on must realise that by then I had lost that humanitarian edge and was to back being an ordinary NITKian) that I did not even bother gauging her vital statistics. She got rid of her umbrella and pushed the puppies with a stick from the one end while I received them from the other. They were brought back to terra firma, wiped dry and fed well. You see the attention is now rapidly shifting from the puppies to the chick. She told me that the she was an occupant of the apartment across the street, wished me good night and left. The next morning as I stood on my balcony drinking piping hot filter coffee, I saw her again. We wished each other and that is where this fairy tale ends. Unfortunately I haven’t seen her since that morning.

Now, I console myself by saying “Well I did get wet and dirty with a chick. Not many are lucky enough to do that“

*sterilize v. (also -ise) (-zing or -sing) 1 make sterile. 2 deprive of reproductive powers.  Sterilization n.

BTW: All the puppies are hale and healthy.

Epilogue:

Pulp Fiction- circa 1994 AD

JULES

(to himself)

We should be fuckin' dead right now.

(pause)

Did you see that gun he fired at us?  It was bigger than him.

 VINCENT

.357.

 JULES

We should be fuckin' dead! 

VINCENT

Yeah, we were lucky. 

Jules rises, moving toward Vincent.

 JULES

That shit wasn't luck.  That shit was somethin' else.

 Vincent prepares to leave. 

VINCENT

Yeah, maybe.

 JULES

That was...divine intervention. You know what divine intervention is?

 VINCENT

Yeah, I think so.  That means God came down from Heaven and stopped the bullets.

 JULES

Yeah, man, that's what is means. That's exactly what it means!  God came down from Heaven and
stopped the bullets.

 VINCENT

I think we should be going now.

 JULES

Don't do that!  Don't you fuckin' do that!  Don't blow this shit off! What just
happened was a  fuckin' miracle!

 VINCENT

Chill the fuck out, Jules, this shit happens.

 JULES

Wrong, wrong, this shit doesn't  just happen. 

VINCENT

Do you wanna continue this theological discussion in the car,or at the jailhouse with the cops?

 JULES

We should be fuckin' dead now, my friend!  We just witnessed a miracle, and I want you to fuckin'
acknowledge it!